In every conversation there is more than words being exchanged. When sharing with another person we give our energy to them and take a little of theirs in return. If you sit next to someone in silence with your eyes closed there will still be a change in your internal state even though no physical contact or verbal exchange has occurred. Whether you feel lighter and happier after the exchange or heavier and darker tells you if the energy that person gave you was positive or negative. Words can facilitate or complicate this exchange. Sometimes the words we are hearing match the energy of the person speaking and sometimes the words act as a mask to disguise their true feelings. It can be very challenging to dig through all of the words to find the truth in their message. As I am working on my ability to provide deep listening to those in need, I find myself becoming exhausted by the amount of negative energy being passed on to me. Attentive and compassionate ears are lacking in our society and when you become capable of providing them you realize the depth of the need people have to be heard and understood. With no way to lighten their heavy hearts people foster all of their pain inside and little bits leak out in every exchange that they have. This causes a negative tone to most conversations with much complaining and whining in an attempt to hand off their pain to anyone who will take a little part of it. When they eventually find an attentive ear, they use the occasion to off load all of this heavy energy in a long story of all the hurt they have suffered and who is to blame. The role of therapists and psychiatrists is to allow this venting to occur and to hopefully facilitate the clearing of this heavy energy to allow room for healing. It takes much practice to receive negative energy without holding it within yourself. Their has to be a constant flow that never becomes stagnant. Everyone needs to be aware of what they are offering those around them. If the negative outweighs the positive then we need to look inward and take care of our own hurt so that we are not handing it off to others. If we could find ways to nurture and cleanse our pain then we could let down the walls we put up to hide it within us. Knowing that others would have done the same would allow us to open our hearts to them without fear of receiving all of their pain. We could then have a free exchange of energy constantly cleansing and transforming the negativity within us and others.
