Hiding in the mud

The lotus flower is one of my favorite images.  It is symbolic of so many beautiful concepts.  I have recently been working with transforming its duality into harmonious cohesion.  There are two faces of the lotus.  The one hidden under the water's curtain and the one resting on the top.  Below the water are the twisted and complicated roots that find their nourishment in mud.  Above the water the flower shows its flawless face to the world.  I carry these two faces of the lotus flower within me.  I have one side that is twisted and complicated that I like to bury in the mud and a second side that I manicure into perfection so that I can show it to the world.  It is tempting to maintain the division between the two embracing the flower and shunning the roots.  The battle of dark and light.  What I forget is that the dark is what feeds the light and that without it my flower would not exist.  There is no division.  The two are one and both sides deserve to be observed and accepted.  Two days ago a close friend said to me, "you have no faults."  In saying this she reminded me of my largest fault of all which is to bury my faults in the mud hiding them from the world.  Pema Chodron shared a lesson from one of her teachers Machig Labdron that gave five slogans to alleviate suffering and the first one is to confess your hidden faults.  Through confession they lose their shadow and can be used as tools to connect you with others.