Groundless state

"All the smiling enlightened people you see in pictures or in person had to go through the process of encountering their full-blown neurosis, their methods of looking for ground.  When we start to interrupt our ordinary ways of calling ourselves names and patting ourselves on the back, we are doing something extremely brave.  Slowly we edge toward the open state, but let's face it, we are moving toward a place of no handholds, no footholds, no mindholds." - Pema Chodron

I just returned from a ten day silent meditation course and faced some of the hardest demons of my life.  As I sat in silence for hours on end with nowhere to run from my hauntings, I created light from dark.  The dark never disappeared but I was able to transform it into something different, something beautiful.  When searching for truth we pass through many moments of groundlessness in which we have nothing more to hold on to.  There is no scapegoat left to blame, no quick fix to cling to, no story to play over the truth.  When our crutches are first removed we panic and fall out of habit.  After being on the ground long enough we realize that the story we had been telling ourselves about needing crutches was in fact false and we get up and walk away lighter and freer.  Don't let the moments on the ground scare you away from walking towards the truth.