As I get ready to once again move towards new horizons, I fight against the pain that accompanies freedom. This move is teaching me to accept who I am and the path that I walk. As J.R.R. Tolkien says "not all wanderers are lost." When you don't follow the main current, it is difficult to feel accepted and understood even by yourself. I spent a lot of energy trying to change who I was, cage my free spirit and settle into normal life. This seemed like the only way to find peace and love. But instead of bringing me peace, this battle brought me much pain. I thought that my lust for adventure was a handicap that had to be healed, rather than the light that carried me forward. In trying to tame my sense of adventure I was suffocating my brightest light.
The hardest part of moving forward is walking away from the beauty of where you are. I have made some amazing connections here in Geneva just as I have done everywhere else that I have lived. These connections bring meaning to my life and teach me how to love and be loved. Each one adds a crucial piece to the puzzle that is me. At times I feel unworthy of making strong connections knowing that I can never promise to stay for long, but the friends worth having understand that love is ever evolving and can continue to grow despite physical distance. If you try to capture a refreshing breeze in a box it loses all the qualities that once made it so pleasant. The same is true for love. If you try to capture it in a box with promises of forever, it loses all the characteristics that made it real. The love that grew during my time here in Geneva will remain present in my heart across all of the distances that I travel. It will continue to grow and evolve within me and pass on to the next community that I join.
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