I have spent a lot time sharing the negative side of my story. I would like to take a moment to share where I am now, and how this journey has molded me through soul searching into someone who is determined to build a life filled with meaning and love. Like I said before, nobody is exempt from pain and loss. It is how we either work with that pain or let it work against us that determines the outcome. I have put a lot of effort into working with my pain to uncover its hidden blessings and turn my experiences into tools for self discovery.
My journey has currently brought me to Buena Vista, Colorado where I have been blessed with the peace and tranquility necessary to sit down with my pain and work through it. My deck looks out on the snow capped Collegiate Peaks that loom over the tiny mountain town reminding us all just how small we are. Everyday, I spend at least one hour alone with nature. Mother nature is reassuring, guiding and inspiring. In her, is a system that has worked in harmony for millenniums. Life comes and goes always changing but never ceasing. Everything works together as smaller pieces of a well balanced whole. She reminds me that my role in life is not as an isolated individual but as a minor character in a play that will embrace my presence in the now, but that existed before me and will continue after me. This thought reassures me with the perspective that my troubles, though seeming large in my reality, are but small droplets of water in the ocean that is life.
This town has also blessed me with loving friendships. My friends here have reminded me what it's like to care. They are beautiful people who support me through every bump that appears in my road small or large. We share our dreams, fears and loves giving advise when needed, but mostly just providing an attentive ear. Our differences are embraced and our individual strengths are cherished. These girls are the reason I survive my day to day life. Seeing them is like taking a breath of fresh mountain air.
My work as a teacher at the Link School brings me endless joy everyday. When I don't get to see the kids, my mood noticeably deteriorates. Each student has something wonderful to offer not only to my class but to the world. Their curiosity and innocence are rejuvenating. They make me laugh at least twenty times a day. Sharing my love of language with them is a gift that brightens my life. The school itself provides a safe haven for me, encouraging me to explore my creativity and use the knowledge that I have gained through travel. At school, I feel the closest to being part of a family that I ever have.
Everyday I become one step closer to shedding the darkness of my past. This blog is the first time I have released my story from the closet it has been looming in. Before this moment, I have not known who to share it with. I didn't believe that anyone cared enough to listen. My family's drama outweighed my own needs and my voice went unheard. Writing about my past is releasing the things that haunt me to the ears of anyone who cares enough to listen. In following my story, you are helping me along my path of healing. Thanks for listening.
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