The Winds of Change

There comes a time in every life when the winds begin to change.  They may become a bit warmer, change direction, carry an extra crisp bite, slow down, speed up or simply whisper a slightly different tune.  Just as the winds bring in the new seasons, they also bring in the new stages in one's life.  I have been touched by the winds of change many times.  A slight change of the breeze can alter the direction a life has taken.  At the closing end of each of my different stages, there has been one specific moment when I realized something drastic was about to happen.  Maybe it came with the breeze or maybe it had always been there waiting for me to become aware of it.  Either way, these winds of change carry you from the end of one season to a fresh new beginning.

Unlike my previous winds of change which brought the urge to move on and follow my path to new destinations, these most current winds whispered a soothing wish to stay.  Never before have my winds come in slightly warmer and calmer gusts lulling me into a serine state of contentment.  Before this moment, they would always begin to pick up speed and blow consistently harder and colder until I grew tired and let them carry me to my next location.  I began to dread these winds knowing that they meant I would once again have to start over and recreate my life.  Last year, right around the time my winds usually start to howl, I felt nothing but a warm spring breeze opening the warm promising arms of summer.

Although this past cyclic change did not bring a drastic change to my location, it represented the most drastic change in my life so far.  I have never been the one to stay.  It was always easier for me to leave than to be left.  Leaving was my way of taking back control, staying one step ahead of everyone else, making sure that I would leave before anyone could leave me.  This time, I watched the winds pick up some of my friends and carry them on to new destinations as I sat feeling my roots creep under the top layer of earth.  I was finally at peace with being the one left behind, in fact, I was elated to be staying behind.  I had found my piece of heaven, my sanctuary, my home.

My friends laugh because they never thought they'd see the day when they would leave me knowing exactly where to find me when they came home.  I find great pleasure in knowing that I am now the peaceful retreat for my friends.  I am the reliable place where they can all come to find peace and recenter themselves.  My dearest friend Caitlin said that she calls my apartment in Buena Vista her little mountain retreat and every time she is feeling distressed she tells herself it is time to visit Erin.  This warms my heart.  Playing this new role fulfills every wish I could ever have.  I can now feel the changing winds and let them flow through my grounded branches as I watch all the other leaves flow around me.